Tuesday, August 18, 2009

News can be fun

I'm a news hound and read at least 2 newspapers each day. (International Herald Tribune and TOI/Mint- I have a habit of volunteering information-didn't you notice- I have a blog!). News websites such as ndtv and rediff are also toured but infrequently because I like to sink my teeth into in-depth reports instead of sniffing at breaking news snippets.
However, I largely make do with the epapers. For I stay in a city where the regular newspaper less than delights and carries about 1 page of news worth reading. For I yearn for real news vs "window pane breaks and injures 2" and there are only so many sales, slimming & bust enhancement ads that my senses can bear. But yet, being a news hound, I can't really stop myself from the cursory glance at the free newspaper and if nothing else, then satisfying myself with the easy Sudoku it carries each day.
But today happened to be the day that I picked up the free newspaper and actually found 3 things which did not aim at being funny but were.
#1 Mistaken identity lands IT professional in trouble
Consider a young Indian IT professional who's roaming around one of the shady streets at 6.53 am. It is way past/too early for the time any good girls would be out on the street. So when he sees a lady walking down this street at such unholy hour, he naturally assumes that she is peddling certain services and since of this, he is certain- he proceeds to grab her and then to kiss her!! He is then chased and caught by her colleagues when they hear her shouts for help. Though he apologized and was appropriately fined- what got me was his plea that he was soon to be married to a girl in India and that they were to set up a software company.
Several questions come to mind- What time zone was he operating in? Has he heard of the word "propriety" or of the word "relevance"? What good is that last statement going to do? Or was he just trying to balance the scale and hoping that entrepreneurial instinct would kinda overshadow his abundant stupidity?
Actually, I'm plain surprised that the fiancee is okay to proceed with plans in spite of his morning misadventure.
#2 Gastrosexual is the new metrosexual
This is from Britain-apparently, British men are spending close to 30 mins a day cooking and have ostensibly been inspired by celebrity chefs such as Jamie Olivier and Gordon Ramsay.
I am sure they have failed to record the 1 additional hour women are spending in kitchens cleaning up after the 30 minute typhoon has wrecked havoc in the kitchen. But interesting huh? Good looking and witty chefs have the potential to lure husbands into the kitchen. Now who's up for making over Sanjeev Kapoor?? :)
#3 Advertisement for Bottom Slim (which prominently displays the before and after cellulite versions)
"My mom, my grandmother, my aunts all have bad cellulite. I did not escape this tendency too!I wear jeans and pants during hot days to work to hide my ugly thighs. My problem areas were so severe that I honestly thought nothing could help. But after 6 Professional treatments at Bottom Slim, things have certainly changed. I wore shorts to work yesterday, and it felt so good and amazing!"- Ms. Tan, 32 yrs old, Accountant
Gulp- I can not imagine why an accountant who's past 30 would want to wear shorts to work!! I'm sure her colleagues echo the " feeling good and amazing" sentiments.

Sunday, August 02, 2009

FB-the laughter tonic

Funny that I should be getting this after extolling the virtues of FB just a couple of days back.
Message one from random person- " Hi. Plz add me to your friends list"
My reply- " Eh? Who the hell are you?" (only people who are daft would mistake this for curiosity)
Second message from random person who turned out to be daft as well- " Hi. Im businessman from gujarat. I am in civil line and doing laiozan work-i know some of good constracion company in mumbai.what about you what are you doing and you are from which place.from your face i come to understand that you are very sober woman and you are very soft neture and it is good for you. futher if anything pls mail me or contact me on - Random person"
Sober and good natured. (I have tears in my eyes)
No person in their right mind has ever called me that and if all goes well, never will. I'm wondering whether to edit the previous post and also put down FB as a laughter tonic? There is also the question of an appropriate response - since "who the hell are you" has resulted in a generous and irrelevant description of self and "Eff off" might not be understood, I'm in favor of ditching my usual sarcastic style for a more direct and blunt"Not interested. Buzz off" approach.
I need to share the story with M now- I hope he laughs harder than the time someone on orkut called me a genius person! :)