Crash. Boom.Bang- What a movie!

Biggest miss of 05-06- Not having watched “Crash”. Will not dwell too much on the how and why not (because there simply is no reason or excuse). But I guess this is a call to action for all those miserable cinema buffs who missed this movie.

What I like about the movie is that it's unassuming and stays true to the theme of how dangerous & wasteful it is to stereotype people and why judging the faces and acts around you, on the basis of melanin deposits, postal addresses and net worth, is severely detrimental to your being, especially in the era that we live in.

The movie lures you into judging and then just when you've trudged the hill, allowed yourself a pat on the back for traversing the cliff of that judgment, it gently pushes you onto the edge-to make you see how wrong you were in assuming what you did , when you judged.Of how wrong those milestones were. And how wrong you were to have climbed that cliff.

Black and white. Yellow and Brown. All shades of humanity do a wild dance on the palette called the screen and make you see the world in all new colors.

Who’s the hero-someone who appears racist, but is quite literally baptized noble, by fire? Or someone who is shamed by these acts of racism, but commits something irrevocably horrifying, simply because he tuned into the wrong frequency of suspicion (based on color)?

What’s right and what’s wrong? Who's the sinner and who deserves to be the glorious saint?

The movie provokes you into questioning your own deep rooted beliefs-things about your faith, about your behavior in society, about the people you know-and the scary part is you always took these things for granted-as natural as your breath-based on what you’ve been taught, what you’ve imbibed from your family-so much so, that just acknowledging these things which have so far been invisible atoms of your existence, becomes a source of amazement. It's like being pushed into a swimming pool and realizing that you can't breathe the way you've been breathing all your life.

Turning interrogator, jury and defence on your own self is tricky. What right do I have to judge whether an American is being racist when similar accusations can be made against me and the crime proved? Do I not cringe when I see a dark unfamiliar face peering at me in the train? Why is it easier to smile at someone pretty and with blue eyes? Why did I assume that the person who just spoke in a language I dont understand was saying something rude about me? Just how deep seated is this prejudice when I can not get rid of this inspite of the realization that an individual’s goodness is not dependent on his ethnicity or the texture of his skin. Is mere realization strong enough for me to dispel all shadows of doubt and trust people for what they are and not what they appear to be?
Generate your own set of questions-go beg or borrow this DVD, if Crash missed provoking you. Also, one word of advice- stay away from Babel, the me-too movie tries to be a Crash II and fails miserably-The beauty of Crash is that its is about people like us, people who err and flounder but never seem to preach. Babel does quite the opposite-aims to address what it thinks are the world’s problems by creating & strengthening stereotypes.

And well, on the case of Realization instigated by Crash vs Yours Truly, sentence is deferred, until further notice. After all, its not easy to judge after having watched Crash!

VEG ART THOU?

Being vegetarian in Philippines could be a crime or a disease.All the penalties of legitimate crime/severe disease (varying from curious glances to condemnation to sympathetic looks) imposed by civilized society on petty criminals who are the victim of circumstances, are reserved for Vegetarians. No kidding.
Here’s a real life exchange between me and X (it could be any of the 80 million lovable Filipinos that make up the pork loving nation). Stuff in italics is the unstated emotion behind the words.
- Ok…let’s go for lunch! There’s a great place I know which serves fantastic local cuisine-you like Pork?
- Actually, I don’t think I’d be able to eat there- I can’t have pork.
- Oh. You are Muslim? You can try the beef instead. (See, I know about other cultures)
- Actually no. I don’t have beef either. I’m vegetarian, you see.
- Aaaaaaah You are a Vegetarian? So you don’t eat red meat? Are you for real?
- Umm…no actually being vegetarian means I don’t eat any meat. You carnivore!
- So you can have seafood right? Surely you ca’nt be that weird!
- No being vegetarian means you don’t eat meat or fish or any type of seafood for that matter. You Omnivore!
* Blank face. * *Wide eyed expression*
- - Pause You are not a recognizable human form
- - Pause I wish I could take you to Gujarat!!
- - Wide grin. So you only eat salads? I think there is one place where we can ask them to take the shrimp bits out of the salad…
- - Wide grin returned. No no!…being vegetarian does not mean eating only salads- there’s so much more- you have vegetables, fruits, pulses, rice, bread-so much variety-really! I have to educate this person!!!
- - Pulses….what’s that? You are turning out to be entertaining…hehe
- - Pulses….Dal- Umm…Cereal…they taught this to me in school 15 years back-I even made those pretty school scrapbooks with all pulses glued to the pages with a description of the well…pulses. Umm, its like a curry…not that spicy..Something that you dip your bread into…you have different types of pulses. Its really nice-you should try some..It’s quite tasty you know! *Bandar kya jaane adrak ka swaad*
- Polite smile. Yeah. Are you kidding-how can anything vegetarian be tasty??
- So are all Indians vegetarians? I'm trying to figure out whether I can ever go to India!
- Not really. About 80% are non-vegetarians I guess.
- So what made you turn into one? Religion? Hindu freak
- Well, its more of a choice actually. It was religion to start with-coz my family is Hindu, so I never really had a choice. Am I sounding confused? But actually now its just by default-something I’m used to-and it just helps that eating vegetarian is eating healthy! I wish I could introduce you to Maneka Gandhi-she’d make you apologize to all the remaining pigs in the world and then she’d sue you for distressing them with their apology (you were the one who killed their brethren, na!!)

- Ok..I’m confused. If it’s not religion, then why don’t you just eat…. normal food? Also, how is not having milk or butter etc healthy? Also, how is not having milk or butter etc healthy? YOU ARE SUCH A FREAK.
- Oh no oh no….Not having milk or butter is being Vegan..where you don’t have milk or milk products besides being a vegetarian.
- So you are a vegan who has milk and milk products?
- No I’m just vegetarian. Actually I have eggs. Ab mazaa aayega!
- ?????????
- !!!!!!!!!!!!!
- So can you have duck eggs? There’s this local snack called Balut- that’s half boiled, half formed duck egg….Finally…some sign of civilization !!
- No….like I said I’m vegetarian….! And terribly hungry!! Don’t make me convert straight into a cannibal.
- Should we try going to Mac? Maybe you can have the apple pie there?
And at this point, I ready myself to eat Fries fried in lard (pig ka fat) and continue being vegetarian. The famous Indian Veg. Resilience shines through the fat that glistens on my French Fries.

The language of your soul

The language of your soul
Unique and individual
only you can comprehend.
No words or phrases. No grammar to bend.
Pieces of you whose sum is greater than the whole.

The mind calibrates. The heart considers
The soul merely represents your essence.
Honest and clear, loud & luminous
Listen-the rhythm of your existence.

There are no half-truths.
Nor pleasant fiction of the mind.
No distractions of doubt or fear.
Nor pecuniary worries to confine.

Ask questions and directions you shall find.
Communication in the medium of silence.
Embark on the journey where the destination is yourself.
The relentless explorer are you
Also, the victim, the conqueror, the defence.

Waiting to be rescued by a pirate

I love Jack Sparrow-never before has a movie character caught my fancy (the only other character that comes close to this kind of devotion from me is Garfield-and no, the crappy Garfield movie has killed the spirit (or the lack of it) that the character epitomizes).
The context-I watched Pirates of the Caribbean over the weekend-both parts and my love for Jack Sparrow just grew exponentially. Orlando Bloom looked more like an excuse for a man in front of him. Oh yeah, he’s the right side of every human being but also so manufactured to be right. Sparrows’s spontaneous in action and well, have to concede, quite pre-determined in thought.

He’s such an unlikely candidate for affection-this vile opportunistic fellow, who puts his interests upfront and in front of anything and everything else. He’s blatantly selfish, even treacherous & yes, grimy as hell-but oh man, is he quirky. Unpredictable. Absolutely witty. Layers of eccentric mystery. Oodles of sinful charm. You just can’t get enough of him-there is so much more you want to know about him and so much more you want to imagine- for example, I want to know how Jack Sparrow was as a kid, what kind of games did he play, did he as a 3 yrs old trick kids twice his age into doing his bidding? Did he get spanked by his mom for being a precocious kid? What would he be like if he was transported to this day and age? Would he be a wheeler-dealer? A politician? An activist? An underworld don? Quite a misfit in today’s scenario where he would be devoid of a cause or of his spirit of adventure. He hardly has a chance to shine through in this religion-fixated, terrorism-dominated consumerist world. Devious he may be, but not soul-less enough to survive in the world of today.

No, he’s perfect as the pirate who plunders but doesn’t stop rob people of hopes or dreams. Someone who needs both a dentist and a laundro-mat, but could slink in a lesson in style to all the dudes out there. Someone who shies away from virtues but yet gets looked upto by honest and god-fearing people in the most unusual circumstances. How I would love to know him in person-this enigmatic charismatic conundrum who speaks his mind via smart repartee but knows not how to express his need for another human being. Turbulent as the sea and grey as the sky above him-he makes you want to dive right into him and explore yourself. That’s the reason I adore him. Savvy?

Ok, I got a serious bout of writer’s block & I hereby suspend the Singapore series until further notice-so the latest thing from the blogger’s wok is a “10 series” Each day (don’t count on that-I’ve had a few false starts) I’ll try to put forth a candid take on life’s elements-today, its 10 types of people I would like to stay away from: (in no particular order of repulsion)

a) Feigned Familarity seekers- These are the types who met you yesterday and proclaimed themselves as your best friends day before-easily recognizable with the pretentious smile, heightened encroachment of personal space and those attempts at sharing laughs & just that hint of a private joke (when none exists) , especially when someone else is around. I find it easier to hug (cute) strangers than to breathe the same oxygen as these characters.
b) Talkathon Tyrants- They love talking about various subjects, as long as those subjects start and end with themselves-be warned, some of them might be funny in the beginning, but as the minutes wear off, so does your patience. They somehow missed the gazillion trainings on how to be a good listener & how to read body language-loss of eye contact, yawns…nothing works-so unless you want to put yourself through a torture test or practice exclamations like “really!” or “how interesting”-Stay away!
c) Acquired acquaintances- These are the friends’ friends or relatives’ relatives who happen to have one common variable as you- age group, location, marital status, work place, language, nationality, what-have-you. Obviously an evening based on one common variable can get pretty dull and full of those pregnant pauses when people are wondering what to say or when dinner would be served.
d) Hypocrites- No explanations here. People who say what they don’t mean and are opportunistically double faced get nothing but severe condemnation from me.
e) Steal the Thunder types- These are the guys who try to one-up you each time, even when they don’t have anything to supersede your achievement-the intention is to just steal your moment and shift the spotlight on to themselves. Remember Boman Irani in Waqt? “yeh to kuch bhi nahi hai”-“asli so and so to tab hua tha jab main…”
f) I-told-you-so- This is probably the worst your support system can do-take the moment to gloat on their judgement rather than the predicament facing you. What’s annoying about this variety is that they are not unequivocally bad-just too enamored by how right they were and how you should have listened to them-but then again, isn’t it always easier to be smarter in hindsight?
g) Wannabes- This variety can manifest itself in many ways- trying to pass off a false American accent, wearing tons of garish gold, flaunting material possessions to unsuspecting guests, not watching Hindi movies coz they are oh-so-passé, laughing in spite of not catching on to the joke, speaking in a deplorable version of English (despite being fluent in another language),….oh the list is endless. Being something other than yourself is the worst sort of dishonesty & maybe the most damaging thing you could do to yourself.
h) Fair weather friends-its quite a misnomer to call those who are there by your side when things are hunky dory but do the vanishing act when things are no longer great. How can you count on someone who is opportunistic enough to synchronize their appearance in your life with the crests & troughs of your life? I’d rather send these parasites to a loyalty boot camp.
i) Activist relatives- You know I truly support the wise guy/girl who said that “you can choose your friends, but not your relatives”-The amount of interference & interest in your life that your relatives exhibit & exercise tends to be exponentially proportional to your age (e.g-time to get married?) and income (why do you want to do this kind of a job?) and inversely proportional to your distance from them (both physical and emotional). Nothing to discount the well meaning concern that does shine through on many occasions, but when you know the other person actually doesn’t know zilch about you nor does he/she take pains to understand what you really want, you just wish this was an independent variable you could drop off life’s calculations..!
j) Anyone who doesn’t respect people- This includes making fun of physically challenged people, sexual harassment, racism, discrimination on any pathetic basis-anything essentially that you wouldn’t want for yourself or your near & dear ones. Seriously, it maddens me no end if people don’t treat others with the same dignity and compassion that they’d expect from the society.

Btw, this is not a comprehensive list of the people I want to stay away from-its an indicative list ;) 10 just seemed to sexy to resist. Watch this space for “10 more types of people I would want to stay away from :)