Pappu pass hua

This news release is accompanied by much joy and pride, as also the realization that mugging up for exams is my core competence. I've passed the basic theory test- the first step in getting myself a Singapore driving license. That the test was completed in 12 mins and that it followed only 2-3 days of random prep are facts that I put here only because today they seem brag worthy.
I will shatter this illusion of genius that 1% of people reading this might be veering towards, by producing one question from the test that cracked me up:
On approaching a zebra crossing, you would:
a) speed up before any pedestrians appear
b) Slow down and check for any pedestrians
c) slow down and let the zebra cross

The other questions were tougher. Ok? :P Wipe off that grin now :)

Jaws like that

It began as a mild discomfort near my right ear and jaw-something that I could dismiss and yet get on with life and sundry socializing. However by Sunday night, it had outgrown its discomfort status and assumed the bigger role of minor pain- at least one that ensured that I couldn't sleep on my right side.

By Monday morning, it seemed like a small mutiny by my facial bones, nerves and muscles that led to a sorry swelling around the joint which further gave way to immense pain as I struggled to chew breakfast.

The situation was dire enough to warrant a call to the beloved hospital whose sole redeeming factor is the proximity to office (it's just across the road).

Frantic me: "Could I get an appointment with the ENT specialist?"

Dorky girl: " Wait aa". " Let me check for you"

FM: .......

DG: " But let me check with you first....what is wrong with you?

FM: *a variety of things could fit in as appropriate answers* " You mean why I need an appointment?" I went ahead and described the pain etc.

DG: "So what is your diagnosis?"

FM: ???!!!! * at this point DG became Exasperating Girl. If I knew how to diagnose, I'd attached a Dr in front of my name and not waste my time on the call, yeah?* " I don't know why or what has caused this but I am interested in curing this and which is why I need the appointment"

EG: " Ok aaaa. Let me check for you"

FM: ........*are they measured on how many times they repeat this phrase during the day?"

EG:" There is no appointment for today. Tomorrow can?"

FM: No- there's too much pain- I need to see a doc today- what do you suggest?

EG: " Then you can go to the A&E department"

FM: "What's A&E?"

EG: "Accidents and Emergencies department"

FM: "Are you sure? Isn't that for more serious cases?"

EG: "It's ok lah. It's 24 hours. You'll get to see a doctor."

FM: "Ok then. Thanks." *for nothing?*

So that was how I landed up at the emergency department of this hospital. Now, unless you've been on a space mission or something, you would know that this is possibly the worst time to visit a hospital- especially if you sneeze every now and then and have also been overseas in the past 7 days. The swine flu precautions meant that at least 4 different people checked on my travel history, my temperature, my flight number, my address, my contact number and every other piece of information that I could reveal through my miserable jaw. I almost got sent to the communicable diseases centre coz of a mild sneeze- it was only after I assured the nurse that this was just a silly dust allergy that she finally asked me to go wait inside for someone to attend to me.

And so I waited, feeling rather guilty- there were old folks on wheelchairs, some people on stretchers, but for most part, the place was rather empty- sure, there were others who seemed quite all right but by sheer glance condemned me for infringing my undeserving ass on what was rightfully, an emergency chair. To prove that I belonged, I started wincing a bit and also made intermittent gestures to support my jaw. Truth be told, it was paining but since there was no obvious external injury- I felt quite unqualified to be sitting there. Thankfully, the nurse yelled out a nice distortion of my name and I proceeded to volunteer more information while my BP was checked. The funniest question was " What is the degree of your pain"- it was a 10 smiley scale which went from a sheepish zero for "None" to a wailing 10 for "Intense". I debated and judged my pain at a Mild 4.

I think that was a bad move- I had to wait another 30 minutes to see the doc, who spent all of 2 mins looking at my ears and referring me to an X-ray. Now the X-ray guy was obviously in need of some entertainment in life and since radiology is not exactly E!, he decided to amuse himself with specimens such as moi. Out of the 8 x-rays that he took, the last 4 deserve special mention. I had to lie down with one arm straight ahead, the other by my side,with my head looking up and my knee folded: all this for my jaw??- I really think they supply some of this footage to candid camera! In any case, after the 70 min wait, even I was in need of some entertainment- so I obliged.

Anyhow, 20 mins after the X-ray, the doc summoned me only to tell me that since he was no expert at ENT matters, he would prescribe some painkillers and try to get me an ENT appointment for the next day!

After a morning of pain and silly encounters, the prospect of sound sleep induced by painkillers can fill your mind with such joy! However, after 11 hours of sleep you don't really feel much except heavy disorientation. Sure the pain's gone but so is any sense of time or purpose.

I'm no closer to finding out how this silly pain started in the first place- I've been assured by a competent doctor (my mom) that this will go away in 2-3 days and that I should stop worrying.

The worst part is the impact this has had on the only happy constant of life- food- regular crunchy munchy food has become a bit of challenge- I've been asked to have only soft food- soup, porridge, khichdi, the likes. And so I veer between cerelac and mashed khichdi and my brain switches between infant and geriatric modes.

The one silver lining in sight is some unintentional weight loss that may occur as a result of this soft diet. Till then, it will be all bark, no bite. For the biatch in me, no respite. Jawly good, I say.

On my playlist

You can think of this as the filler post when I feel compelled to write but when words do not oblige. So I make do with my most material friend and report on what it plays for me. My top 5 for today:

1. Poker face by Lady Ga-ga: It is an addictive song that enters your mind and refused to be uprooted. My only regret is having watched the video: someone get that girl a stylist who makes her look good or a video director who shoots a better video.

2. Rehna Tu from Delhi-6: The lyrics are a killer and each time I hear this song, I catch myself wondering how a song dedicated to a city can feel like the most appropriate dedication to M. "Kabhi neem neem" from Yuva comes close though it gets a bit coy at times.

3. Maula by Atif Aslam: This is one of my favorite running tracks-gives a whole new meaning to getting to the destination. Something on the lines of U2's "still havent found what I'm looking for". Especially true when the restlessness at not having figured out purpose and lifemap, has not ceased. Credit to Panda for the introduction to the song.

4.Boom Boom Pow by Black Eyed Peas: The lyrics are silly but then this is one of the kickass songs that packs in such a punch that you can't help listening to it-the bass creates the same impact as a 'dhol' on your heartbeat.

5. Paper Planes by M.I.A- This is my favorite song on the album. Delivers the right level of angst and recklessness that a life on the street will witness. The dark undertone makes it delectable.

************************************************************************************

On a side note- has anyone watched this ridiculously bizarre piece of advertising for Amul Macho or some such chaddi-baniyan brand- it starts with how men are bowing down to women in every situation that was traditionally male dominated (e.g. karvachauth moon viewing, the arranged marriage tea tray scenario, eve teasing in bus, bike ride with brake for sufficient contact...you get the picture, yeah?) and then the pleas of the "abla Indian male" are finally heard and he gets a boon in the form of a banian- that too in a temple no less. Instructions from higher powers are to "stop this nonsense and become macho". The guy dons the banian and takes bold steps towards a gang of girls who are appropriately scantily clad. (Of course, the sheher ki ladki wears a hot red dress to a temple at night, didn't you know?). The swagger inducing banian also enables the guy to make lewd gestures and cause the gang of girls to shriek. Having put them in their place (beside the guy, with apsara like servile gestures), the guy faces the camera and the Voice over tells us " Yeh toh bada TOING hai".

WTF?

Kill me now.

The one year old nest

Two young birds
Setting up a nest
A space to call ours
For succor and rest

Things aren’t perfect
There are color clashes
And gross mismatches
There’s a chip coming off
And a light that flickers.

There are wires peeking from that corner
I can sense newspapers hiding somewhere
Old junk that’s been hoarded
Hundred keys abandoned with zero care

But then there are memories
In each direction that we turn
Of things old and new
What we bought and earned

The moments we spent on the easy chair,
Give it the comfort that holds you so
And it is the warmth of company
That gives the candles their lovely glow

Masks and paintings and souvenirs
They are but mere props
The lead actors are the inhabitants
Invariably, the drama never stops

The bell chimes a welcome
And familiarity ushers you through the door.
When you enter you feel different,
The harsh spotlight on you, no more

It is then that we realize
it’s not the twigs we collect nor the leaves we store
But the residue of happiness
That gives our nest its real décor,

We may trade this space with another
And our possessions may change too
But our home will always have a perfect view,
Because I will see it with you.

Glimpses of May

This post took a long time coming- primarily because too many things were happening in life and I chose to live the moments and save the archiving for later. (save the archiving-haha?). So what did we do in May:
a) Hot Wheels-Though the acquisition of a car happened in April itself, the rubber hit the road in full earnest in May. With the set of wheels also came a series of discoveries and realizations. Of how blind we have been the past couple of years to road signs, road names and roads in general. Of how few U-turn signs there really are. Of not knowing where those signs are. Of not knowing that our life's savings could probably go away in parking charges. Of spending 50 mins in a parking lot and becoming more familiar with Basement 1 and Basement 2 than is usually recommended. Of how pleasurable getting dropped to and picked up from work can be. Of how much I now respect emotional decisions such as buying a car when the MRT 50m away from home gets operational. Of how much I now respect irrational decisions such as buying an Audi when it was always the Civic which made more practical sense.
b) The arrival of Logness- My full time household help, similar to the car, arrived in late April but made us feel the full consequence of the arrival only in May. Life's become simpler and better and more comical. Logness (not her real name) is a bit like the Audi- quiet, efficient and calm except for the fact that she has certain quirks. All of them we find just funny right now coz they dont really get in the way of actual performance. She walks real slow and usually focusses her eyes on the ground; She confuses potato and tomato, lauki and mooli and other similar sounding things. She bunches everyone without discrimination, under one common pronoun- She (so if I ask her "what's M doing?" the response is "she is talking on phone", " she went out already" etc.). She also extends this gender non-discrimination policy to our clothes- arranging M's clothes in my cupboard and my clothes in his :P (i'm inclined to ignore this subtle suggestion of cross dressing because M will really not fit into my clothes and for no other reason.) But on the whole, I really like her, not just because she is unassuming and sweet and likes reading , but also because she learns fast and tends not to make the same mistake twice :) May God bless her for being such a blessing to us.

c) Library Lass- On May 11th, I became the member of the National Library here. I kicked myself for not having done so in the last 3.5 yrs I've been here-but then, better late than never :) Now please allow for some gentle boasting of membership features- I can borrow 8 books at a time! (6 for self; 2 for Logness). I can also choose not to borrow silly X box games (plenty of which are there in the library!). I can also borrow magazines and other AV material. And the most thrilling thing is that the library keeps Indian authors- I think this perception of a complete absence of Indian authors at the local library had been my biggest hesitation in becoming a member- but one look at titles and I was sold! Since it's a network, I can borrow from any library and return to any other. I can also renew the titles online. How cool is that? I think I may not buy a book for a long time- also because I'm out of space in my current bookshelf and more importantly, out of space at my home to put another bookshelf.
d) Return of the fitness Nazis- Both M and I have resolved to get fitter and we did so by cancelling our gym membership :) Yeah, a bit of an anti-climax I know-but we realized that we were donating about 300 dollars a month to the gym and since this is not on the list of charities we support, we decided to put that money to better use! The free tough treadmill called the Road- yeah, that's our gym now. Also, I stopped turning up my nose at the gym at which I'm entitled for a free membership, courtesy my kind company. If tis free, tis good.
The burn of calories by running is being supported by a frequent intake of healthy food- we carry lunch+ snacks to office. (snacks here refers to fruits and salads btw). I've got taunts on becoming domesticated and carrying dabba, but I will persist and let my future higher metabolic rate send out a brusque revert.
Some of the dietary regime was also a result of a bone density test at work which showed that I have osteopenia (it sounds worse than it actually is!)- basically people with this have low bone density and are more prone to suffering from osteosporosis in future. Exercise and food rich in calcium such as bananas, milk, yoghurt etc help. As do calcium supplements. So nett, if I don't take care of my bones and the rest of my body, the ride ahead could get tough and tortuous.

On that solemn note, I shall go consume some banana milkshake and check out Sony's hyped new line up of shows. So long.