Sunday, August 31, 2008

Sliver linings aren't always nice and shiny.

The intent to run was all there today morning. Any thought of action was washed away by the rain. But thanks to the glorious weather, masala chai and poha made perfect sense. So far so good. Silver lining and me-we understand each other.
But then the maid ditched us today and M took it upon himself to do all the piled up dishes. Which was quite a sacrifice as opportunity cost comprised precious X-box time and saving the world. Knight in silver shining armour to the rescue.
Doing the dishes ain't as easy as it seems (it tops my list of least preferred tasks). Dishwash foam flies.Water sprays here and there. washed vessels just seem to take up all visible kitchen space. All ordinary occurences which demand no particular attention.
But when it sounds like a cup has been dropped, I need to sit up and take notice. Oh, but the cup is fine..but it seems the stuff it was dropped on, is not quite. The smile vanishes abruptly when a chipped off bowl is put up for examination with a feeble "didn't it always have this crack?". Heck, no! Probing eyes hurriedly look for any other signs of damage. Only to find another glass bowl which used to be a bowl, but now laments the loss of its right hand side.
Ok. so the set of 6 gets reduced to a set of 4. I shrug. These things happen.
And then I heard something on the lines of " Oh good. 2 glass bowls broken means two bowls less to wash. Yay!"
I'm switching to steel and plastic now!
Or begging my maid never ever to ditch me.
I'm guessing the first is a lot easier.

Monday, August 11, 2008

And the base keeps runnin runnin

A new passion has been discovered.
Home and work have contributed in equal measure- Peer pressure (& spouse pressure) has succeeded like never before.
I've started running.
I have also signed up for the 10 km run (Stanchart Marathon-Dec7).
This is no meagre achievement for someone who is clearly not the athletic type and can possibly not count any sport, save for badminton that has been played at some competitive level.
I kid you not.The passion has truly been ignited. New shoes bought. Running track 5 mins away from home discovered. In the mood to crack the track :)
Day 2: 5+4 laps (running), 1 lap (walking). 30 mins. avg speed 8 km/hr.
On my mark. Ready to run.
ps-the daily/weekly update on how I'm shaping up vs my goal is by no means an attempt to brag (actually, you could be quizzed for substance abuse if you think running 10 kms gives bragging rights!)..Only want to keep track, with the hope that I get to gloat in Dec at how pitiably unfit i was in August! I could have maintained a chart at home-but let's say this is another form of pressure! The online escape route is now officially closed. Wish me luck.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Humour among Thieves

Now, losing something-irrespective of how much money or time you associate with that possession, really annoys the hell out of most of us. What really adds a thick coat of frustration, though, is the discovery of theft-someone wilfully and malevolently parting you with what you call your own. It's more than a sense of violation- to know that a stranger gained access without permission and merrily took away what was loot worthy without really knowing how much the memory associated with that physical object was worth.
So yeah, if something gets stolen, you end up getting depressed, grumpy and maybe a little paranoid. But the 3 times I've had something stolen from me have just led to more complex emotions. Look, I'm normal and do mourn even the most minor of losses but dont know why these incidents seem like a feeble attempt at comic relief for whoever's writing my life's script.
Incident 1. Innocent college girl, barely 18, treasures the glitzy wallet gifted by boyfriend but knows not the pitfalls of using open cloth bags in crowded DTC buses. She encounters pushes and shoves by dirty looking gypsy lady with a kid. Waves of sympathy keep her temper in check. Stoic girl changes buses- boards an auto and arrives at her destination, only to realize that stoicism equalled stupidity and that gypsy auntie had polished off wallet and contents quite smoothly. College girl panics-cancels credit cards (yeah-she had a generous father), applies for duplicate id, library pass, club membership, license etc and sulks all week long. A week later, she receives a courier with all contents of the wallet(cards+license+college id), save for the Rs.50 & the wallet itself. With the net effect that she can't mourn the only thing which she truly misses.
Type of humour: Irony: as used in Alanis' Ironic?
Incident 2- Brave 22 yr old stays alone in a 9th storey flat (with terrace) in Baroda. Parents are not that brave and have ensured that this flat is just 4 flats on top of the relatives' apartment. Hard working girl comes back at 11 in the night to discover things strewn about in a very unseemly way. Shrugging off doubts of nephews' mischief, she runs to the 5th floor and is apprised of the day's events-An unhinged sort of character had entered another flat on the 9th floor and had demanded food from the 10 year old boy who, not knowing any better, had simply given him something to eat. And guess what that freak did with the fresh dose of energy!! Burgled the brave, hardworking girl's apartment- at considerable risk to life!! And what did his exploits cost the girl? 3 bottles of expensive perfume, her specs, a silver pendant and NOTHING ELSE. The fool left behind a laptop (presumably because he knew not what it was? maybe it was too heavy?), gold earrings (maybe he just preferred silver?maybe he didn't like the design?) and cash (this part has never been fathomed by any listeners of the tale). The police report of the loss was met with incredulous amounts of laughter and weak suggestions of a psycho admirer. The girl's angry glares were punctuated by her exasperated shrugs. The girl was later, amused at her contribution towards making an unhinged male see and smell better!
Type of humour: Dark: as used in "Jaane bhi do Yaaron"
Incident 3-Well travelled 26 year old (let's keep calling her girl, shall we?) is most excited about a girlie trip to Bali. The most stressful part of the trip for her is over by the time she's at the Singapore airport- she's managed to pack real light, you see! The arrival at the Denpasar airport proves how wrong she was. On the conveyor belt she meets her bag, which looks sullen and lock-broken. Her anxiety at this violation soon gives way to relief and idle annoyance as nothing of value is missing-her perfumes, specs and silver earrings are also very much there. Peace. Narration of this weird tale to eager audience of one is followed by a declaration of making self beach-worthy in the morning, by good use of prized epilator. Morning arrives with a scream and the realization that the epilator is missing, thanks to the glamorous silver case in which it rested. Angry 26 year old showers choicest abuses on the hirsute thief who thought of stealing nothing else but the epilator and wonders how many more unhinged thieves she'll encounter in the 60 odd years ahead. Yes, she hopes to live long. If anything, the laughter induced by the funny thieves will help longevity.
Type of humour: Slapstick, "C" grade: Think "No Entry"/ "Adam Sandler"
Potential Thieves of Humour to note: If you have any sense of dignity, shame or even some trace of logic, thou shalt not a) steal items that can never hope to get you any return commensurate with the risk involved in the theft and b) pick the writer of this blog because 1)She's been the target of your kind sufficient number of times and 2) she now stays in Safe Singapore. Hah!! Try being funny now?