Monday, December 10, 2007

Eye Sa Lah!

No. An ordinary sty wouldn't have done. Some vague rash-too pedestrian. My eye needed something grander. So it opted for a chalazion- which by the way, looks exactly like a sty but since it is grander & sounds more sophisticated- fancies itself a much much longer & indefinite stay on the eyelid.
I'm compelled to write about this "thing" on my left eye which developed sometime in May, starting out as a small swelling but by sheer determination (by the glands on my eyelid) and by utter neglect (my own), has grown to be quite a nuisance. To be fair, its a painless bump on the left eyelid which causes only a very minor incovenience-no eye make up; but has become a "grr point", thanks to the predictable barrage of questions & reactions it invites.
At first, people shy a second glance and then when they've acquired enough courage or have astutely established the presence of a swelling on my eye that deserves to be questioned, pop the exclamation-first in a series of many....
" Oh there's something on your eye!"
Those who pride themselves on their acute sense of observation come up with a diagnosis:
"oh something's bitten you on your eye"
(this is accompanied by them pointing to their own eye to show me the exact location of the "thing"). The assumption being that I lack either a mirror or any sensation in my eye or both. At these times, I'm tempted to give them sheets of paper and crayons so they can draw me a delightful, colorful diagram.
When I deny the existence of an insect bite and tell them its a chalazion-they are partly outraged at their superior judgement being questioned and partly confused at what the hell a chalazion is. So they proceed to:
"Oh, its a sty!"
"Why dont you go see a doctor?"
" Are you taking any medicines?"
"What did the doctor say?"
"When will it disappear?"
" How did it happen?"
"Does it hurt?"
" How can you prevent it from happening again?"
Explanations & details such as this thing being painless and having been there since 6 months, having to do nothing with make-up or my diet or any other deliberate action of mine are neatly ignored. They are convinced that this hurts and that I'm responsible-they just have to trace the steps back to the scene of the crime.
Facial contortions follow if I do happen to let out that this will have to be removed surgically.
"Oh so painful!"
"How awful!"
" Is there no other way"
Of course not, I just thought a surgery sounded like a fun thing to do. And yeah, buddy, those exclamantion marks sure help in easing out the pain and preparing me for the minor surgery (which I'm assured by my doc-takes only a couple of hours and about 2-3 days of rest).
So if you've seen me in the past few days or months and have been bursting with curiosity about the "ugly" thing on my left eye- Here's where you should go:
It would have been thoughtful of me and convenient for you if I'd just put up an FAQ list on my eyelid, right next to the chalazion-but I've kind of grown fond of the 6 month old "thing"-don't really want to offend it 2 months before I make it go under the knife.
I knew you'd understand.
ps- I do realize that most of these questions would have & continue to come from well meaning and thoughtful individuals, but pls realize-collectively, the same questions everyday, become quite a pain.
- I want to start SFAAC (society for awareness about chalazion). If people are as generous about donations as they are with questions-this society will never be cash-strapped.