Look who's back

Lasted all of a day.
I don't think the anonymous blogging was for me.
I've always been an advocate for owning actions and thoughts & the repurcussions that follow. No, being anonymous was an out of character sojourn- which incidentally, I might resort to, under extreme pressure, absolute lethargy, intellectual depravation or unadulterated malice-The Gollum avataar, I'd like to call it, with your permission.

But for now, I shall go have dinner & come back. To my senses. To my identity. To my inhibitions.

Did I happen to mention, humble pie's on the menu tonite?

Wondering if I should take cover....

When I started this blog-it was anonymous and for most part of its existence, it's seen little activity-both from me, who posted sporadically and from the reader, who never came :P So the question of cloaking identity never really came up.
Gradually, I started giving out the blog address; dropping it shamelessly on my profile pages on social networking sites etc; even posting my life's scenes out here. But now, I wonder if that was a big mistake-whether this very act of telling the world upfront who this blog belongs to, doesnt actually make measured words and uncontroversial topics a mandate-I don't feel this blog can take the no-holds barred type of writing I want to indulge in.
Too many people I know have either read this in the recent past or will do so in the near future. And weird as it may sound-I'm not really willing to put up all aspects of my life for scrutiny and judgement, especially to those who know some of those aspects! Am I afraid of the judgement? Oh I don't know.
I am thinking of taking cover and just blasting off my thoughts without weighing in the nuances and reining the flight. I dont know whether I'll do that. just yet. As standard response to any decision, I'll procrastinate.
Ho hum.

Update
All I needed to unleash the bitchiness was a trigger and it was so readily provided. By whom? For that you'll have to read the blog where I officially let my dark side run wild. For a preview, click here: youhavetobeadumdumtoclickthis.blogspot.com :P Lovin' it.

Elegant Eloquence

Minimalistic-yes! Product is the hero-yes! Grabs attention-yes! Will I buy the Audi-if you lend me the money, yes!

Happiness Knockin'

This year has started on a good note. Turning thought into action is satisfying-more so, when the action is not purely selfish and could make a difference to someone else's life in a little way.

Go to http://www.nanhikali.org/ and make that difference. For as little as Rs.1940 (~75 SGD), you can sponsor a girl's education for a year. Just think about it, instead of buying yourself a fancy meal, you can gift her 12 months of hope, determination and ambition. You can help a young mind learn new things; make new resolves ; view the world in a different way- small steps in ultimately, deciding for herself-for better or worse.

And if that's not enough-photographs of your "nanhi kali" and her progress report cards will make those happy steps transcend the borders-right upto your doorstep! Happiness is coming knockin'- usher in the change-Click on that website now :)

Year of Change

Not quite the type to welcome change with open arms, I usually start with denial that morphs into terse acknowledgement and then an absolute capitulation because I for the life of me, can't remember why I didn't want the change in the first place. (Did I mention inertia is my best buddy?)

This has been more or less the pattern with most of the things that happened to me in the last 4-5 years: getting used to a hostel room, case studies, crummy software, changing cities, contact lenses, colors other than blue, mobile phone handsets, ipod, cheese..the list is endless.

The lyrics of one of my favorite songs (Bittersweet Symphony) had told me long ago-No change, I can't change, I can't change, I can't change, but I'm here in my mold , I am here in my mold. And I think I repeated it too many times for my own good.

Which is why I thought I'd make 2008 a year of change-where I will challenge status quo, scale greater heights and fight the demons of sloth & laziness. Okay maybe not-but please excuse, I saw the 3 LOTR movies over the weeekend and 9 hours of war, higher purpose, dominion of men & "maai precious" did distort my sense of reality a bit.

However, the resolve to make 2008 "the" year of change was strong and to prove just how strong, I took the "How lazy are you" quiz on Facebook, forwarded by makdee, who for some reason has gone underground (blogwise, I mean). I love those personality type MCQs-you can pretend to be what you want. Now only if Facebook too had taken the same pledge of change as me! The submit button led me to their cute apology page, from where I meekly clicked 'Go home' and shut down my computer in despair.

But no, I would not let the virtual world determine the course of my "change inducing" journey. To demonstrate how the positive waves of change had swept all over my old self, I did what I thought was impossible- cleaned my office trolley, which after 2 years of indiscriminate hoarding of junk, paper & training material (oh-that does get covered in junk!), just refused to let even a pencil inside. The vibes of change reverberated. I could feel the change- I tell you, the positivity almost choked me. (That sounds like Chopra and Oprah mixed into one :) Soul sistah, only.)

Thus began my journey of change. Here's listing the milestones of the week old trek-I read in some "cheesy" self-important book on change that in this journey no milestone/ resolution to get to that milestone is incosequential- and I believed it- I do take the written word more seriously than I should. After that detour, here goes: (hear the sound of check-check-check on those resolutions)

- Waking up at 8 am on Saturday to rush to the gym! The Yippie Kai Yay trip to Bali in March is a serious deadline by which I must swing back to shape or be a moronic mass forever.

- Not cursing/mentally abusing people as often as I did in 2007 I do want to be a nicer, kinder, gentler human being. Don't ask me why....

- Getting serious about cutting back on caffeine (actually cutting back is the next step- I have also read that change is a gradual process-hmm, I do believe what I read!)

- Calling up language & performing arts institutes & learning about the various courses on offer. Maybe my incoherent self just needs another mode of expression.

- Making a valiant effort at getting rid of this stone age machine my IT folks call a laptop but being told off by the service centre because though 2 years had expired, the warranty had not. (this seriously threatened my 2nd resolve-but will power won and I wrote them a happy new year mail instead)

-Taking charge of my finances and researching options to make better use of my money-investment, charity, travel, shopping trip- the plans are nicely plotted :)

- Doing what I loved to do-everyday: reading, going for walks and uninterrupted listening to music.

And inspite of the cynicism and the popcorn philosophy, there is one good that came out of the first change week of 2008- my will to recognize the small joys of life and to actually act on those mental maps- just paves the way for the bigger changes that I'm about to bring to my life this year. Yes, I can change, I can change, I can change, See me turning my mold.

I see you've started taking the written word seriously too, eh?