Year of Change

Not quite the type to welcome change with open arms, I usually start with denial that morphs into terse acknowledgement and then an absolute capitulation because I for the life of me, can't remember why I didn't want the change in the first place. (Did I mention inertia is my best buddy?)

This has been more or less the pattern with most of the things that happened to me in the last 4-5 years: getting used to a hostel room, case studies, crummy software, changing cities, contact lenses, colors other than blue, mobile phone handsets, ipod, cheese..the list is endless.

The lyrics of one of my favorite songs (Bittersweet Symphony) had told me long ago-No change, I can't change, I can't change, I can't change, but I'm here in my mold , I am here in my mold. And I think I repeated it too many times for my own good.

Which is why I thought I'd make 2008 a year of change-where I will challenge status quo, scale greater heights and fight the demons of sloth & laziness. Okay maybe not-but please excuse, I saw the 3 LOTR movies over the weeekend and 9 hours of war, higher purpose, dominion of men & "maai precious" did distort my sense of reality a bit.

However, the resolve to make 2008 "the" year of change was strong and to prove just how strong, I took the "How lazy are you" quiz on Facebook, forwarded by makdee, who for some reason has gone underground (blogwise, I mean). I love those personality type MCQs-you can pretend to be what you want. Now only if Facebook too had taken the same pledge of change as me! The submit button led me to their cute apology page, from where I meekly clicked 'Go home' and shut down my computer in despair.

But no, I would not let the virtual world determine the course of my "change inducing" journey. To demonstrate how the positive waves of change had swept all over my old self, I did what I thought was impossible- cleaned my office trolley, which after 2 years of indiscriminate hoarding of junk, paper & training material (oh-that does get covered in junk!), just refused to let even a pencil inside. The vibes of change reverberated. I could feel the change- I tell you, the positivity almost choked me. (That sounds like Chopra and Oprah mixed into one :) Soul sistah, only.)

Thus began my journey of change. Here's listing the milestones of the week old trek-I read in some "cheesy" self-important book on change that in this journey no milestone/ resolution to get to that milestone is incosequential- and I believed it- I do take the written word more seriously than I should. After that detour, here goes: (hear the sound of check-check-check on those resolutions)

- Waking up at 8 am on Saturday to rush to the gym! The Yippie Kai Yay trip to Bali in March is a serious deadline by which I must swing back to shape or be a moronic mass forever.

- Not cursing/mentally abusing people as often as I did in 2007 I do want to be a nicer, kinder, gentler human being. Don't ask me why....

- Getting serious about cutting back on caffeine (actually cutting back is the next step- I have also read that change is a gradual process-hmm, I do believe what I read!)

- Calling up language & performing arts institutes & learning about the various courses on offer. Maybe my incoherent self just needs another mode of expression.

- Making a valiant effort at getting rid of this stone age machine my IT folks call a laptop but being told off by the service centre because though 2 years had expired, the warranty had not. (this seriously threatened my 2nd resolve-but will power won and I wrote them a happy new year mail instead)

-Taking charge of my finances and researching options to make better use of my money-investment, charity, travel, shopping trip- the plans are nicely plotted :)

- Doing what I loved to do-everyday: reading, going for walks and uninterrupted listening to music.

And inspite of the cynicism and the popcorn philosophy, there is one good that came out of the first change week of 2008- my will to recognize the small joys of life and to actually act on those mental maps- just paves the way for the bigger changes that I'm about to bring to my life this year. Yes, I can change, I can change, I can change, See me turning my mold.

I see you've started taking the written word seriously too, eh?