Have you ever?

Have you ever felt like running away from it all because it seems so futile?
Have you ever run away from things only to realize that the reason for your escape is trivial?
Have you ever turned back and returned to the point when you threw in the towel?
Have you ever looked at that point with disdainful eyes, wondering how you got there in the first place?
Have you ever traced your steps back to the beginning of the journey and kicked yourself for getting the directions wrong?
Have you ever got the directions to your destination all jumbled up coz there are so many ways in which you thought and still think you could steer your life ?
Have you ever wondered why life can't just be about curling up in your bed and reading a book while the ipod deck hums out a gorgeous melody?
I sure am wondering exactly that right now. The rest was just to ensure this sounds like some nice philosophical turn of thoughts, without showing off my new ipod deck or without stating in simple terms that I really couldn't care less.
Have you ever said " I couldn't care less" and realized that's about the only truthful thing you said today? :P

Preacher Practises

I strongly believe in the fact that if you ain't got anything worthwhile to say, then you're better off not saying it. Not unless you want some negative re-affirmation.
Hence the break from blogging. Or I'd feel like a TV news channel covering the story of some boy who jumped into a ditch.
Sorry & Guilty.
Vaccuum is prettier than senseless drivel.
So ta-da. I'll be back when I discover inclination & thoughts/events worth recording.

Mute Speech

I think I'd be really rich, if I got a diamond for every tag that I pick up from Mystic Pizza! This time she wants me to put down 10 things that I wish I could say right now(but didn't/ haven't/won't?) and I need to do this without naming people.
What I've written below is not a work of fiction and bears a very close resemblance to my true feelings. For anyone who, through vague suspicion and uncommon intelligence, traces the following retorts/questions/statements to himself/herself, well, good for you- Now you know and I didn't even say it :) Without further ado:
1. Why do you have to make things so complicated? I wish you'd tell me what's really on your mind.
2. I won't know what to do, if not for you. Nonetheless, you are the Chief of Pain :P
3. You make me choke with your kindness and affection.
4. Since how long have you been suffering from verbal diarrhoea?
5. Can you stop assuming things about me and try getting to know me? You don't know me and I can't go on pretending like you do. Get real-you full-of-fluff baboon! Don't make me hate you.
6. You've got really pull-worthy cheeks :)
7. Oh. I really really wish you'd be able to make it. The tentative list is not for you. Please don't disappoint me?
8. I think we are going to have a blast-now that you've learnt how to swear :)
9. Opportunist Bitch.
10. I think you are the brainiest amongst all my friends. And I really like it when you find my jokes funny.

I tag anybody who's feeling jobless or tongue-tied. In the next post, I shall resume my Europe trip journal-almost forgot about it!

Time, the Ravager.

Okay, another tag from the Mystic Pizza- baby pic time!

Deciding which one to put was tough-I'm not very objective when it comes to myself, even less so, when it comes to my baby self. Limiting myself to the glorious number of 3. Was less than a year old in the above snap- obviously being propped up by a helping hand.I learnt standing up for my rights early on. Actually, i think i'm offering the chair to someone. What kindness.
And this of course is at the time of Rakshabandhan- and that of course is Delighted Me tied a rakhi to my brother :)

I tag Sheen and Saumil coz those are the only friends of mine who blog! The others can take this up as a facebook/email/'whatever mode they are comfortable with' tag.

p.s.- I dont quite like the mirror after looking at the baby snaps. Time is so cruel.

Also, Thanks to M for scanning these-how'd you know this tag was coming up?

Pass me the chill pill

I've been on the edge this week- So much so that people that I work with, are calling me nasty and fierce! Who would've thought. (And to think, some others in my previous company had ranked me "not aggressive enough". Tee Hee.)
M's asking me to relax and loosen up and for a change, I agree with him. Have become so high-strung and reactive-a very distorted version of what I used to be. Ugh :(
I think a bit of the stress is because my misplaced sense of hope & possibility on a major issue is in a cruel contest with foregone conclusions. The restlessness & the dismay at the silly futility of it all just doesn't go away, no matter how hard I try.
Making peace with an undesirable but certain consequence of my decisions and actions is sapping more positivity and energy out of me than I'd imagined possible.
Life's being the meaner bitch. Snap, snap, snap. I have to get out of this state of mind. Two things you can do to help:
- Distract me by saying something funny and irreverent.
- Slap me the next time you see me brooding.
(Don't wince if I slap back. After all, I do have a nasty reputation to live upto.)
I'll be back when I'm feeling better or sufficiently distracted.